Ow, my heart

It's been a long time since I came around, been a long time but I'm back in town...

Yes, I've been gone for a very long time and to be completely honest I had forgotten I even had a blog here. So alot has happened, lot's of things have happened since last I wrote an entry. It's tea time, time to dish, let's talk, we haven't in a long time. So I'm not exactly sure of when the last time I posted something, but I'll try to fill you in as much as I can.

Nothing has happened, at all.

The main, important thing, that happened was that I got a boyfriend. I had finally grown balls to to tell the one I loved the most exactly how I felt about him and we started dating. Probably the happiest I've been in a long time. I thought things were different. Y'know, people say "The one you love and the one that loves you is never the same person", I thought it didn't apply to us. Totally did, though. It breaks my heart, but Nikita didn't, at any point, love me like I love him, and it really hurts. So I had to break up with him. Almost harder than telling him my feelings in the first place. All my friends are like "You deserve better than him" and "He's a douche" and I'm just like "I don't think he's a douche." I'd prefer it if my friends didn't say negative things about him to try to make me feel better, cuz it's not gonna make me feel better. I want to be friends with him, and it's just an unfortunate casualty that it's going to be an unrequited love friendship, but maybe one day I'll move on. Only time can tell. So I'm not really sure.

I just want him to be happy, I once told him that his happiness was my main priority, and it still is. If he's not happy with me then that's how it has to be. I love you. My heart is broken. I hope you see this.

I don't know what an appropriate picture would be for this. I just won't put one.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Stuart Little

This one's quick.
When did Johnathan Lipnicki get so sexy?

Honestly there's nothing else I have to say about it.

Enjoy this.

I..uh..I need a towel

Have a (hot) blessed as day <3

I'm LIVING

It's coming up on that time again. My resurrection  has commenced and soon enough I will be living yet again. You guess right people. RuPaul's Drag Race is BACK.

Or, at least in the process in of coming back. January 2012 will be the best drag race ever. It's unbelievable how excited I am. I'm living when RPDR is playing, it fills all those facets I need in my life.

Just from watching their introduction videos on Logotv.com I already know which ones I like, which one's I dislike, and which ones I want to go home right away.

Sharon Needles. This bitch. Ohmygod. She is my absolute favorite and it's been one day into their revelation. She's funny, she's weird, she's dark and she's different. I can't express how I love different. She's my number one.

There are three big girls this season. All of which are more sickening than any of those from past seasons. I'm talking to you, Delta. Bitch. One looks pretty together, however I think she'll be causing problems. There's the biggest, and she's really together too, her voice is crazy deep, and the last is probably the most put together of the three of them, but she's from puerto rico so I have a hard time understand her, much like some girls from previous seasons.

I don't know, I'm just so damn excited.

I live!

Have a blessed ass day <3

Haven't blogged in forever?

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've written anything. It's not that I haven't had the time, I just sorta lost interest. It's okay though, because I'm back, probably. Let's talk about my life, shall we?

...no? Too bad, not your choice.

There's nothing particularly NEW with me, if you really want to know.
I spent alot of time behind my computer monitor.

I'm learning to drive. That's something new. I've really put it off until now, and really only now learning because it's incredibly necessary for me to do anything else in my life. I haven't started school yet like I was supposed to 50 times already, but I figure it'll happen soon enough. Now that my dad got a new job (and gettin' paid good money, hell yess) and he's working 12 hour days, I wouldn't be able to rely on him to give me a ride too and from school, and my mom is working alot more lately too.

The only stopper that's been keeping me from learning to drive better has been my mom dealing with some super drama. Super drama. Drama. Her step daughter is in jail cuz she's awful, and her uncle is dying, or could be dead, it's not exactly clear to me, haven't really heard anything. He could very well be dead.

My grandpa is sick, just a cold, it's annoying for everyone, especially cuz I just got over the worst cold ever, and if I have get another sore throat I'll fucking shoot myself.

Nothing too much going on with me.

My hair is been grooooowin'.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Let's play pretend.

Okay, I don't know if you guys know this about me, I've struggled with faith ('religion') probably my entire life. I have two mind sets, logical and scientific, and shamaic and mystical. My scientific mind seems to only acknowledge the physical, the things that I can see, and these things are explained by science and logic. My shamaic mind, acknowledges all things metaphysical, energies, the life within everything, the power of the universe, things of that nature.

I don't really categorize myself, however for the sake of argument, I guess you could consider me 'pagan ecclectic'.

Im talking about children when I say "lets play pretend". By 'children', I mean teenagers.
There's this mystery and allure that comes with the word "pagan'' or "wiccan" or "witch", and it really appeals to teens because they have this feeling of not being able to control the things around them. Wicca offers them a 'solution', they pretend to be experts of something that they really don't know anything about, they pretend the 'spells' that they're doing are working, and honestly some of them get to the point of lying about having gifts that they really don't have.

Special gifts aside, wicca itself is something that requires long hours of study, the gathering of knowledge, there are rules to follow, and you can never expect a spell to work immediately.

But adding the 'gifts' into the equation, it gives the chosen kids something lord over their other peers as a way to make themselves feel better about themselves.

So what I have to say is this:
Study what you want, I welcome you in becoming a pagan/wiccan, just don't pretend you know more than you do, don't act like you're playing pretend when you're doing 'spells', and STUDY. Always been in the pursuit of knowledge.

Blessed Be

Have a blessed ass day <3

I'm not worthy of this orgasm!

There's nothing really to say here. I was with Shawn and Leah the past few days and when we all get together there's a whole lot of foolishness going on. It's mostly filthiness going on, we established the new city of Nasty Town. But anway, we're eating safari shaped chicken nuggets, and we're about to sit down and watch our favorite news-cast, Action 19 news. Leah out of nowhere yells "IM NOT WORTHY OF THIS ORGASM!"

Hm...what?

We were dying, it was the funniest shit ever. Falling out of my chair laughing.

But back to our favorite news-cast. We were trying to get our minds of the Casey Anthony case because that's all anyone's fucking talking about, it's on every damn channel. But we found a news channel that wasn't actually talking about it. It started off talking about a mountain lion that's loose in canton. I think that's a little more important than Casey Anthony, considering the fact that I live near canton. But anyway, this lion has apparently taken his first life, and they made it seem like it killed a person, when in fact it was a chihuahua. Then they brought out the "wheel-o-criminals", where they spin a wheel and talk about what ever criminal the wheel lands on. Cute right? But my FAVORITE story of the night was about a woman named Colondra. Colondra was pulled over by police and was found with her pants unbuttoned and a sex toy in her lap. Her passenger was holding a laptop with a video playing that had content that the newscast couldn't disclose. Ew. But it was funny, and then the next day this other guy was caught masturbating at a public pool. Now that's news.

But with more criminals



Have a blessed ass day <3

Aquariums inserted orally

I wanted to talk about two similar, but different topics, and I didn't want to write two different entries. So you get one entry talking about two things.

Shellfish Preperation:
Okay, So I was just thinking about food, and people cooking food and culinary arts and stuff. I just wanna make a point and say that if you step back and look at culinary arts objectively (without thinking about the need that we have to eat), it's kinda fucked up, especially in the preparation of shellfish. When you cook lobsters, you have to boil them alive. Think of it this way, getting kidnapped by giant lobsters, and then they boil you alive, tear you apart and eat you. I think humans are the only ones they essentially fuck with their food. We chop them up and make them look 'pretty'.

Im not saying that we should stop eating meat at all, I love meat. I was just taking a step back and observing something that we don't think anything about.

Also, when we eat meat, we're eating the muscles of the animal, I think it's weird that when people eat clams, they're sucking out their internal organs. I mean that's essentially all a clam is, a shell with organs. I just think that's kinda gross.

Fish isn't meat?

Talking about fish here. And how those religious people who can't eat meat on friday, are allowed to eat fish. I don't understand. Fish is meat, isn't it? Perhaps I'm just stupid, or at least stupid for mentioning it. I didn't have much else to say with this one. So yeah, fish on fridays, not meat.

This is what you're eating

Have a blessed ass day <3

I'm gonna fuck your ass!

I'm confused. So earlier tonight my grandma came home from staying with my grandpa at the hospital, and she realized that she didn't have much gas left in her car. She had me come with her to the gas station beause she didn't want to pump the gas at 11 o'clock at night. So she speeds to the gas station because she's affraid it's gonna be closed, and we get there and it's clearly not. I go in, grab a gallon of milk, and pay for the gas or whatever.

I come out to the car, and I start pumping gas. My back is facing a road that intersects with mainstreet. I suddenly hear car tires screech around the corner to turn down the road, and someone from the car yells at me "I'm gonna fuck your ass!" The scream scared me a little, wasn't expecting it, and honestly, I thought I was about to have to fight someone. It really brought back the awful feelings I had through middle and high school with the asshole guys driving by me and yelling shit at me, and occasionally throwing shit at me. But I finished pumping gas, and I put the gas cap back on and walked back to the passenger side of the car, completely offended by the guy yelling from the car.

But, I was suddenly overcome with this 'happiness', so to speak.

I thought to myself: "Why am I upset? He said he was gonna fuck my ass. Dont I like that?". He didn't yell out call me faggot, he didn't threaten me, he said he was gonna 'fuck my ass'. I'm gay, I don't understand what that was supposed to do to me. So I'm just laughing about it on the inside, and I somehow, in my crazy-straw psyche, turned it into a compliment.

It kinda made my night actually.

I don't really have a picture for this story.

I typed 'Phallic Shaped Object' into google, and this picture came up.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Faggot

I just had a fucking epiphany about the word "faggot", and/or any other hateful slur. Now, as a disclaimer, I will say this: I still think people should stop using 'gay' when saying something is stupid etc. It's just stupid, and ignorant.

So, I was going through photo albums that Jeffree Star had on his facebook, and I came across a picture that I really liked. It was a picture of Jeffree and a fan, nothing special, but what made it special that the fan was 13. He was 13 years old, that's amazing, and he was wearing one of those rubber bracelets, with "FAGGOT" in big bold letters. I thought to myself, "That kid doesn't give a shit". That kid doesn't give a shit, so why do all of us need to give a shit?

Instead of turning the word "faggot" into something that homophobes use to bring it down, it can just as easily be used to take the wind out of their sails. Instead of being offended when someone would call the kid a faggot, he embraces it. There isn't much else a bully can say after he calls you a faggot, and you agree with him. I think it would be good that if we could turn the word Faggot into a term of empowerment. It's not like it's the first time something bad has been turned into something good. Now, mind you, words are just that, words. We choose to give them meaning. We can choose to make them empowering. 

And just as a side-note, I really think Jeffree is more of a role model than he leads people to believe. He's got huuuge balls, and I think he is a huge source of empowerment in the gay community, and people just don't see it, they see decadence, and raunchiness, and the word "cunt". So thank YOU, Jeffree Star for being.

I'm not exactly sure why I never really realized any of this before, I seem to be slow on the uptake to things. But knowing this subject in general, I'm sure alot of people would disagree with me (in the gay community).

The most amazing kid on the planet

Love you Jeffree.

Have a blessed ass day <3

A MMORPG state of mind

I never really understood how people could play games like World of Warcraft for 10 years consecutively without leaving their computers. Lately I've really been yearning to play World of Warcraft, I don't know why. I can't afford to go buy WoW, so my good friend Erin directed me to a cute little game called "MapleStory". I'm sure you've heard of it once or twice.

Long story short: I'm addicted.

Though I still don't completely understand the mentality, I've been playing MapleStory at least 8 hours a day since I've downloaded it, the first night I played for a good 12 hours straight. Even when I wanna stop playing, I can't stop playing.

It's fun though. Some of the users on the game probably dedicate most of thier time on the game because of their maxed out characters, leveling up takes alot of time.

Fucking love this game



If you play MapleStory, and you have characters in Windia, come find me, I have 3 characters.

"SkullDiapers", "HeApproaches", "ElectricBugs".

And they are a Mage, a Theif, and a Mechanic respectively.

Have a blessed ass day. <3

From a little monster

I always hear that we Little Monsters are hypocrites and we're crazy and all that shit because of how we react to haters and what not, but lemme explain (at least this applies to me.)

We act the way we act because Gaga is an underdog. She's not conventially beautiful, and she had to claw and fight her way to the top. She knows what it's like to been on the 'outside', and she wants all the freaks, all the outcasts, all the people like her. Her fans represent her high school torment, and we represent her inspiration. She wants to protect us, and we want to protect her. That's why we jump at anyone who mindlessly attack her for no good reason. We attack those that attack her because we take all that personally. Alot of the time, when people are attacking Gaga, they're attacking the gay community too, and that's something else that I take so so personally. And I, personally, think it's stupid when people take time out of their day to talk shit about her, and that just isn't applied to Gaga, I think it's stupid if anyone bitches about any artist. If you don't like 'em, I don't really give a shit, but don't waste your time talking shit about 'em.

There's something else that I think I should probably address while I'm talking about Lady Gaga, the idea that she's 'using the gays'. That doesn't even make sense. How does one use the gay community? The LGBT community is roughly 10 percent of the earth's entire population, so what would benefit her if she 'exploited' us. And it really upsets me when gay people say that Gaga's using the gay community. It's biting the hand that feeds you. She doesn't just say she's for gay rights, she's out there marching, she's campaigning, she wants everyone to have the same civil rights, and anyone saying that she's 'using the gay community' is clearly misguided.
Now that being said, I don't care if you don't like Gaga, what will make me mad is the reason why. Especially when people say "I hate her" etc. This also goes for other singers out there, like Justin Beiber for example. I don't like Justin Beiber, but I couldn't care less about him, I'm not gonna go on his videos just to hate on him (people have made it their mission to make his video the most disliked video on youtube, in turn making it the most viewed video on youtube).

The most beautiful woman on the planet

Gaga has been really influential in my life, and she's very important to me. To me (along with my mom), she's the most beautiful woman on the planet. Thank you Gaga for being born.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Slenderman (and other various legends)

I love Slenderman. Whenever I'm with friends we always joke about seeing him.

"Not much is known, as no specific information is given within the thread about origins, but his objective and habitat are made very clear. He has the need to kidnap children, and is seen right before the disappearance of a child or multiple children. He seems to prefer fog enshrouded streets and wooded areas as a way to conceal himself from being noticed. It should also be noted that children have been able to see him when no other adults in the vicinity could. Children also have dreams or nightmares concerning The Slender Man before their disappearance. Confiding these stories to their parents are met with the usual parental admonition: overactive imaginations. Even though The Slender Man is a total fabrication, people have already claimed sightings. He appears to the unwitting mostly at night, and most always peering out of wooded areas or near rivers. He has also been reported to peek inside left open windows and to walk out in front of lone motorists on long uninhabited roads. The Slender Man or men, have appeared everywhere from Japan, Norway, and America to name a growing few."

"...we didn't want to go, we didn't want to kill them, but its persistent silence and outstretched arms horrified and comforted us at the same time..."

He's coming for you

I've also come across something called Zalgo, which prior to yesterday, I'd never heard of. Zalgo is apparently a faux-lovecraftian concept that is representative of corruption and decay.

"In short, Zalgo is a faux-Lovecraftian internet-based mythos typically accompanied with mangled text and vague implications that Zalgo will soon be destroying the world/the poster's sanity/humanity. Zalgo is not necessarily an entity, but is more of a concept, much like Lovecraft's "The Colour Out of Space."
ZA͡L̢GƠ ͠is not goi̶ng ͞t҉o͞ ͘te̛ll͜ ̀y͞ou ̴w̵ha̡t͡ ZALG͏Ó ͢i̢s, for ҉Z̧AL͟GO͘ i͘s̸ not. Z̸A̴LG͝O̕ is ̢ǹot͏ à g͡o͞od҉ t̨hin͠g͘.͜ ̵ ҉Z͜A̢L̕GO͢ ҉is̸ no͟t͏ /̀x/ ̵o̡r ̛S̀A.͠ ͏ ZAL͡GO͘ ͡is͞ n̷o̧t ̢u̕nt̸i̴l̵ the e͟n̵d̀ ͜o̷f ̵days̀.͜ ̷ ̵ ̷He̕ W͞ai͞t͞s͡ ͡Be͜h̵ind T̵he ̕Wal̵l,̴ ͢in a ͡p̀àl҉àcé ̀of͝ ̶t͢o̶rt̸u̸r̶ed͟ gláss͞,͟ ̨served̶ by͡ l͝egio͝ns ̡for̨g҉e̷d f̡rǫm ̧th́e̴ ͠tȩars̸ ̴of͡ ͟th͞e̕ s͞le͞epless ̨de̢a̡d ańd cl̴àd͟ ̵i͜n ar̴mo͘r ̧car̨ved ̶from̕ thę s҉uffe̶r͏in͠g̷ o̧f͘ ̷mo͟t̵h̀e̕r͞s.̸ In͡ ͜his̴ ̨r̷ight͝ ha҉n͡d̨ he̶ holds ͢a͜ ̸dea̕d ̕s̛t́ar̕,̢ ́a̴ǹd͞ in͡ ̧h҉is͢ ̸r͏ight ̨ha̕n͢d he h̛ǫl͏d̵s ͟t̛h̕e ̀Can̸d̛l̴e ̡Wh̛o͟s̶e ͏Ligh͘t͞ ̧I̸s Sh͝a͢d́o͏w.͢ ҉His léf̡t h͢án͢ds͜ àr͝e stain̷ed ͏w̛it̶h͟ t̴he b̡l͟ood̢ ̴of ͠Am Ḑh̀ae͘ga͟r̢. ̵ ̶ ̶ ̵ ͡His ͜six ͜m̧ou͡t̀hs ͏s̶p͏e̡a̴k ͏i͜n͜ ̷di̡f̕f̕erent͜ ̴to̕n҉gu͢ęs͏, ̧a̷ņd͢ ͝t̕hę seven̴t̨h̢ ̴shall s͠in̶g t͞he s͜o̡ng ̷that ̶e̢nd́s̷ ͠th̛e ̸earth̛.̷ ̶ ҉ ̡ ̧ ZALGO ͘ re͜f͠e͢ŕs͜ ͝to͜ th͘e ͡co̷r̛ru̷p͟tion of perféc̸t͜ly ̀i͠nn͏o̡c͘e͏n̢t ̀things̴ ̵and ͘i͡déas,́ ̵s͝uc̶h̶ às̛ c͢omi͢cs̡, s̶t̨ori͘e͘s or ͏m҉e͏me͏s.̕ To ma̡ke͡ ̧th̕e̢m ee̸r͘ie͝ àn҉d͡ "͠L҉ove͢c͟r͝afti̢a҉n".̨ ̢ ͢ ҉T̨h̷e̷s̀è ̴ex͞ce̴r̷p̡ts̶ r̢u͢n ţḩe ̶ga͜m҉út̨ ́f͞rom a̵l͘che҉m̕ica̸l do͢c̢umen̕ts̀ f̕r͠om ţhe 1̶60̛0s͞,͠ o͜c͝c̕u͠l͏t͝ ̴texts r̸elating̷ ̨t̸o ̛vàmp͞ire͜s̨, cu͜lt ̷dǫg̀m̧a҉ (̴t͞ráns̡c͘r͡ip̕ts ̵f̕r̡om ͏th͢e͠ ̧vid̶ęo͝ o̵f͡ ̴tha̵t c̸ul̛t that̸ ͞ki̵ll͠ed t̷hem̀sęl͠ves̶ w͜hen ͟t͡he̕ Hale B͝o͞p ćom͜et͜ ̧pa҉s͝s̕e̸d ͝b͝y ͜Ear̴th),͜ ͟s̨e͡gme͟nts̛ o̕f̡ ͝h͘o͝r̵r̛òr͢ st̨ori̡es ͡(̡Br͘a̴hm S̸t͟oke̢r̛'̀s ҉Laiŗ o҉f̴ th̕e Wh̛i̢tȩ ̕Wor͞m),͏ ́a͘n̴d ev҉en thè ҉tria͏l o͠f̨ a̶ ͡m̧an҉ ̢s̶u͢pp͢osed tǫ h̕ave bee̢n a͜ ̢w̡er̴e͝w͡o͟l͞f. ̵
A ̶fr͞e͠q̶u͢ent̶ ̛f̛eat̀u͠re̷, ́sav̵e ̀fo̸r t͢he͜ biz͝àr҉re̶ ̷s͜ýḿbols ̢an͝d fo̕r̢ma̕tting,͏ i̢s͏ the ̧ob͏s҉çurati҉o̢n ̴of͞ ͘a̸n̛ytḩi̴ng͡ wit̴h͢ ̢rȩl̷igiou͝s c̵on͢n̴o̸t͢at́i̕ońs;̸ ̸t̛h̢e w̡o͝rd͟s "̸H̛ea͞v͏e͜n҉"̧, ̧"͞re͞li̡g̷io̷n",̨ ͏"Go͞ḑ",̢ e͠t̕c. ͏are̴ oft́ȩn ̷i̸n ͜s̷t̶ri͝k̕e͟throu͘g͠h̛,̷ ańd ̡so͝m͜e͡t͞imes͏ ce̕rta̸in words ͘a͢re̶ ̴e̕ven re̶m͜oved ́f̀r̸o̕m ͜the҉ or̸igina̢ļ ̧t̶exts, ͜n͞ot̛ab͟ĺy "͜ḩųma̡n̵"͡ and̨ ̨"͡gar̶d͡en̴"."

"He comes...Zalgo..."



h̋̿̃ͥ͂ͯ̓͑҉̠̜̣̠͉ͅͅa̩̤̪̽̽͗͆͂͌̉v̢̝͎̰̊̄͑e̼͔̘͛̉̃ͬ͗ͩ ̷̩͓͓̳̜̭͓ͨ̉̓̐̋ͮ̎̍͝aͧ̑͛̒ͯ͡͏̦͍ ͎̪̯̽ͯ̎̏̉ͮ̓͜b̫́ͬͬ̅̎̈́̊̀͑ľ̨̥̙̤̱̫̼͓͎̈ͮͥͤͭë̷̺̺͎̎̈ͥ͗̍͜ͅş̝͉͖̠̬ͧͧ͊̀͡s̗͓͚̦̞̙̪̣ͬͯͯ̈́̾ͨͤe̷̳̣͉̭̯̔͐ͯͪͩd̞̗̯͉ͣ͊̑̅ͩͬ͟ ͔͎̘̯̲̈́͒̋͆̊ͪ̚a̛͔̩̺̱ͦ͐͑̏̆̉͘s̡̧̯͚̳͂̏́͗͡s̫͉͈͙̗͖͓̱̮ͬ̇ͥ̉̐̔ ̢̪̣̗̬̹͉̌ͤ̌̑̓̃ͪ̆͜͞ͅd̹̝̲̫̪͖̝̩̀̽̒a͚̙̦͖͔̭̽̎ỹ̮͢ ͔̘̊̾̄̊̑͗ͬ͐ͅ<̷͎͙̦͉̪̟̦̔̉̉̈̐ͨ̾ͨ͜͞3̟̞͍̳̙̩̺͎̘ͨͭ

Jeffrey Dahmer: America's Sweetheart

I'll straight up say it, I'm attracted to Jeffrey Dahmer. He was so cute, it's such a shame he was cannabalistc psychopath. He was a really attractive man. That's what I should be careful of, guys who are too cute, because they're probably just serial killers waiting to have sex with me, and then murder me while I sleep and save my remains in the fridge for later consumption.

My family doesn't have any sort of claim to fame.The only interesting thing about my family is that my 2nd cousin went to high school with Marilyn Manson, and my uncle was propositioned by Jeffrey Dahmer. Before the first murder, Jeffrey tried to pick my uncle up after a party. Of course my uncle didn't go with him because y'know, my uncle's straight, and afterward Jeffrey killed his first victim.

If it were me, I'd go back home with him, and I would've been travelling through his digestive tract. I have a weak spot for guys that are attractive. Maybe that's alot of serial killer's number one tool. Ted Bundy was pretty attractive too,  and he used that to his advantage. The moral of the story: Be careful of cute boys, because it's likely that they'll rape you, mutilate your corpse, and eat the remains.

I so would've let him eat me (out).

I'm gross as fuck. Have a blessed ass day <3

Dreams about rapists.

Holy nonsense. I had the most ridiculous dream last night. So I was at a high school football game, but for some reason the game was before class? Yes, I guess I was still in high school in this dream (I have high school dreams on a regular basis). But we were in class, and the teacher suddenly had some sort of fit, and passed out on the floor. We panicked and rushed her to the hospital (which in this case, was more like some abandonned shack in the middle of the woods). So we get there, and it turns out it was a trap. The lady, who was the ring-leader of a group of deformed criminals, had planned to lure us down there and murder us. Before that, however, a strange lanky man, who looked moderately like a scarecrow, was ordered to rape me. Now, I don't know when this dream turned into 'The Hills Have Eyes', but at some point it was basically reinacting that movie. Luckily for us, all of us had concealed firearms (what is going on?). No matter how many times we shot the assailants, they just wouldn't die! I shot Mr. Scarecrow in the the head, didn't die. We did slow them down enough to escape, and that's when I woke up.

It was too early for me to stay awake, so I went back to sleep, and my dream started right back in the classroom with that bitch again. Fuck that noise, we didn't let that bitch trick us again. The dream from there is foggy for me. Me and my dad were in a parking lot, and he had special powers and he was fighting 'villians' in said parkinglot. I found someone who was controlling everything, this bitch with red hair, and she was hiding in this machine, and I reached in and snatched her up by her hair. "Get out here, you bitch" I said, she rebuttled with "No, fag!", to which I yanked her ass out and attempted to bash her head into the wall. I couldn't do it though, my body wouldn't let me, or she was too strong, I couldn't tell.

What does that say? Whenever I'm in a dream I can never bring myself to hurt the people who've hurt me, in said dream. Perhaps I'm just too gentle a soul. I don't know, but sometimes I'd like to think I'd be able to kick someone's ass in my dreams.

"it was him, he was the one that...that raped me."

Just saying, that picture is nearly identical to the guy in my dream, found that picture completely by accident. Weird.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Zombie Apocalypse

So last night I had one of my many Zombie Apocalypse dreams. But last nights was actually pretty cool. Unless you're a lucid dreamer, you usually can't remember the beginings of your dreams, I certainly can't. I somehow ended up in prison with some other people. I don't know why I was in prison, I don't remember the people, I just remember that it was a high security prison and we were planning to escape. So we did. We broke into one of my cell-mates exboyfriend's houses to get something, and we were caught again afterward and were escorted to back to the 'paddy-wagon', and something happened between then, and the prison that caused us not to make it back to the prison. Zombies, most likely. I was with my cell-mates, and a few other people (one of which included Jeffree Star, for some reason). But to say the least, Jeffree knows how to shoot. Just saying. But anyway, I was (contrary to reality) like a seasoned marksman. We got trapped in a hardware store, and my party refused to leave the main area, and I was like "I'm finding a way out, now." and I went out through the back and was intercepted by zombies. My party was alerted by my gunshots and followed me toward the back, and helped me exterminate the zombies. Unfortunately, a few of my party members were killed, I think Jeffree might have been one of them, I don't remember. But that's the last thing I remember.

The point of that was, I actually liked the dream. It was fun, it was anything far from a nightmare. What does that say about me? I don't know. Maybe I'm a little messed up, I wouldn't disagree. But anyway, have any of you had a dream that you enjoyed that others would consider a nightmare?

Yes, this actually happened.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Summertime

It's summer time, June 1st, and I couldn't be more apathetic. No, but really, I like summer, even if it is 900 degrees outside. Like in my last post, summer reminds me of my childhood, and being outside with friends and all that stuff. Obviously I don't do that anymore. I haven't been hanging out with anyone lately, and I think it's been 'good' for me, I always can use time for myself, but now summer's here, alot of my friends have more free time. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing Erin on the 11th. I think I'm supposed to hang out with Lauren tomorrow, but I'm nost sure, haven't heard from her. I don't know, even though I'm not in school, whenever summer comes around I feel lke I just got out of school and I'm free for 3 months (after being free for over a year).

Maybe I feel like this inparticular because this is my last free summer before I start school again, I had a year off, and I'm starting in the fall. I'm not really looking forward to it, but it's happening. I think this summer I'm gonna make an effort to see all my friends, not just Shawn and Leah (I've weaned my self from seeing them every week. It's probably been about a month now.) I miss my friends anyway, especially my high school friends, I haven't seen them in a long time.

So, I'm gonna try to promise myself that I'll have a good summer. I think I need summer clothes though, because I'm seriously lacking in the clothing department, esepcially shorts. Probably should do that soon.

Ohio summers are nice. Sometimes.

But remember, it's still Ohio.

Have a blessed ass summer <3

I wanna be the best

Like no one ever was. I miss my old pokemon games. Of course I have Black Version, and it's a great game, but lately I've been missing my first generation gameboy pokemon games. I somehow always lose everything I own, or maybe I just have poor memory. Downloading emulators isn't quite the same, it doesnt have the 'hand-held' quality to it, and it makes me sad. I was 4 when I got my first pokemon game, Red Version, for christmas. For me, Pokemon is representative of my childhood, I always had a pokemon game on hand. This one's a short one, but I feel like I've been making a quite a few negative posts lately, just thought I'd talk about something a little lighter.

Childhood: Now in cartridge form

Have a blessed ass day <3

Not a choice, or a matter of "prayer".

Stupid ass. Do I need to make it any clearer? A trolls object in life is to get a rise out of you, so that's why I'm ranting here, and as to not give him the satistfaction.

"Being gay is a choice." Normally that wouldn't make me angry, because I can just laugh and be like, "Nigga, you don't know shit." (I speak ebonics. That IS a choice). But I got into a "discussion" with a guy over youtube comments on a young man's video about homosexuality. This person claims up and down that homosexuality is a choice, and he "grew up attracted to boys, but now he's straight". Great, he's one of THOSE guys. This is his logic "You can choose to be straight, or gay. If you masturbate to gay porn, you can be gay. If you're gay and you think about women enough, you can be straight." That's not exactly what he said but it's pretty much the plot. He did say the masturbating thing though. I told him that gay is not a choice, straight people don't choose to be straight. Orientation is in the heart, and in your genes. Your heart's desire. I said "I could have sex with a woman (ew, lol) but that doesn't make me straight, just like just because you eat a carrot, it doesn't make you a vegetarian." Makes sense right? I thought he would get it. I was clearly mistaken. I said "we as gays are raised to be straight. If it was easy as that, we would be straight. Nobody goes to their kid's and are like 'you should be gay'. It's only after years of identity issues do we realize what we are..." His response to that was to say that if you spend alot of time with your same sex best friend, you'll be attracted to the same gender.

Direct quote: "I was exposed to sexual stuff at a very early age. I remember having an arousing fantasy at the age of 6 (it was about kissing). Since the only friends I was allowed to be alone with were male, I became attracted to the same sex. I later became attracted to women also. When I was 15, I became a Christian and decided I didn't want to be gay. Every time I started to have a fantasy about a guy, I thought about something else (usually girls). I'm 22 and I'm now 98% straight."

Are you SERIOUS? Since when does hanging out with someone of the same gender make you attracted to them. Then I read "I became Christian, and decided I didn't want to be gay." Oh boy, he's a 'pray the gay away' types. I went through it, I'm still going through it, the self loathing, the having to deal with the fact that society still isn't socially equal, and we still get treated like second class citizens, but c'mon, grow a pair. "Everytime I started to have a fantasy about a guy, I thought about something else (usually girls). I'm 22 now and I'm now 98% straight". Uhm...what? Since when did sexuality to become that easy? Do you know how many gay youths don't want to be gay, and beg, and plead and pray and try to change it but they can't? This guy is seriously delusional. And it's not like I'm just ranted for no reason, these are things that I've personally dealt with and it's something that holds alot of emotion for me. You can't just "think of girls" when you're thinking of boys to miraculously become straight. You're not "98% straight", your forcing your gay-ass to have sex with woman so that you can fit in with society.

I know I've been ranting alot lately but this was definitely not something I could've passed up talking about. What're your guy's opinions about it?

However, there is a choice to whether

you have a high fashion, avant garde sensibility

Have a blessed ass day <3

Have you lost your damn mind?

I wanna laugh in your crusty-ass relic face right now. Honestly. Harold Camping is honestly the worst kind of person. Maybe up there with terrorist. In face, he IS a terrorist. He's religiously using fear to control people. As everyone may know, Harold Camping predicted that the world would end earlier today. Obviously wrong. He's done this before, back in 1992 he predicted that the world would end 1994 in september. After that didn't happen, he said it didn't happen because of "mathmatical errors", and changed the date to May 21, 2011. His logic is that rapture is supposed to happen 7000 years after god flooded the earth. He came to this after some ridiculous math problem that he came up with. Well, we're all still here. What now?

I guess we have to wait for December 21, 2021. But wait, I've read in a couple places that Harold Camping has changed the date of the rapture to this time next year. Dude, just give it a rest.

He should be in prison. He should really be in jail. You can get arrested for shouting "FIRE!" in a movie theatre. People that believed in the rapture quit their jobs, gave away their possessions, squandered their money, and I'm sure a few people killed themselves, in preparation for the coming apocalypse. He should be arrested for causing panic en masse worldwide. I'm completely serious.

-Athiest Alert-

Do not read the following if you're easily offended

This is just me ranting about stupid religion is. Pardon my ranting.

I get really annoyed when people say the bible is this, and the bible is that. "The bible was written by god!" Not quite. Man wrote the bible.

Christianity wasn't the first religion, so how is it THAT that Christianity is the true religion.

Have we met the hubble telescope? The pictures it's taken are glorious, wonderful, beautiful. But I've yet to see a bearded man on a cloud. I don't know.

If you can't see it with your eyes, don't invent it with your mouth. I have the same response to that every time, "You can't see air".

Bitch, no, we all know air is there. It's nice to breathe.

As far as the end of the world, of course it's possible, it could happen any time. We don't know when, but it's certainly not because god wants us dead.

-This concludes this athiest alert-



The face of evil, the CRUSTY face of evil



That's just my two cents.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Fetch.

My cat is being such a dick right now. It's too early for him to have this much energy. He keeps bringing me his favorite toy after I thow it. Me and my cat are playing fetch. I try to pick him up, he flips the fuck out, "stop playing with my chords" I say, and he just attacks my hands. He needs to calm down, if I'm on my laptop it means I don't wanna play with him, he should know that by now. Where's my sister when I need her? She plays with him when I don't feel like it, and she keeps him away from my laptop chords. I'm just frustrated this morning. Too early to claws and teeth with the kitten..

At just want him to get older so he doesn't have this ridiculous kitten behavior, it's annoying. Does that make me a horrible person?

He's certainly cute though

Have a blessed ass day <3

The end is upon us?

I didn't know that. My sister just texted me and said that the church had a billboard that said the world is gonna end May 21st, 2011, at 6:00 am with a big earthquake.

Wait...

What happened to December 21st, 2012? Wasn't it December 12th, 2012 before that? Scare tactics? I think so.

Oh! Remember 5 years ago? The church thought the world was gonna end on July 6th, 2006. 6/6/06. What about 11 years ago? Doesn't anyone remember Y2K?

My point: You can't 'predict' when the world is gonna end. Nobody can see into the future, nobody knows. The world could end tomorrow, we don't know. The end of the world has been "prophesized" so many times before, it's stupid. And back to the end of the world happening next saturday, this earthquake is supposed to happen at 6am, is that eastern time? Is there gonna be an earthquake for every time zone? Other religious groups are saying that the 21st is the "rapture", when god takes all the "good christians" to heaven and leaves everyone else to be either swayed by Jesus or the devil, then 6 months later is the end of time. The only problem is, religious groups believe that the end of the world is 12/21/12, but, that's not 6 months afterward. It just doesn't make any sense.

People just need to stop "predicting" the end of days, you're making everyone depressed. "But the mayans predicted the world would end in 2012!", they didn't predict anything, their calender was just unfinished. You shouldn't assume things like that, you know what they say about people who assume, right?

This is more likely.



That's just what I have to say about it.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Tyler talks about incest.

This is something that I probably need to talk about, because it's kinda bothering me. I'm watching Steve Wilkos and this episode this bitch is dating and having sex with her father. Gross, maybe, whatever, not the point. The entire time Steve is flipping shit about how he's sick and he's preying on her and all that. She's 18, but it's cool. But the way the show is progressing, I could easily substitute this confrontation about homosexuality. I'd rather not have sex with my family member, but if someone else does it doesn't have anything to do with me. I don't have any right to judge anyone else. The bitch is 18, she wants to be in the relationship, let them do what the fuck they want.

Incest is not something that bothers me, and when someone gives them shit and calls them sick and they need help, I can relate. Wasn't it just recently that homosexuality was on a list of mental illnesses? Politicians and clergymen seem to be quick to compare homosexuality to incest or beastiality. So, honestly, I couldn't care less if family members wanna have gross sex together, just as long as they're both consenting. Rape isn't always a joke.

Beastiality, however, is not too cool. An animal can't tell you to stop, and animal can't consent. So when engaging in sexual relations with an animal, is pretty much rape. I don't know, I just think it's stupid.

Uhm...what?



That's just my two cents.

Have a blessed ass day <3

We are siamese, if you please...

Oh baby, I've added a wonderful baby to my family. That's right, a new kitten. I would've much rather adopted a cat in need from a shelter, but my dad didn't want a "used cat", my dad isn't the nicest person. But anyway, I love my little baby boy. He's a traditional siamese, and he's 9 weeks old. I took me 3 days to figure a name out for him, and I finally came up with a name that suits him. Ghengis Kahn Streetwalker Sharp is his name, but you can just call him Ghengis.

My baby



Have a blessed ass day <3

The Illuminati did it!

I think you're stupid. At this point, I think that anyone who believes that anyone is part of the illuminati is suffering from some severe paranoid schizophrenia. I don't believe in conspiracy theories (most of them), and honestly, I think if you base your entire life around "uncovering" them, I think it's a wasted life.

According to some people's logic, EVERYONE in the music industry is part of the illuminati. If you make money, you're in the illuminati, if you've ever been on tv, you're illuminati. If you were a child star, you're in the illuminati. Honestly, I just think people need something to go up against, what better than someone who's more successful than you? If the Illuminati was really behind everything in the media, do you really think that they would allow people to "dislike" their music/work etc. Have you ever been on a video for a song on youtube? It's all people talk about. "This song sucks" "This is Illuminati".

It's gotten to the point where the musicians are poking fun at the haters in their songs and videos. For example: Rihanna's S&M, there are many points in her video where it says "princess of Illuminati". These artists see that you're saying that they're illuminati, and they think it's HILARIOUS.

I don't know, I just think people need to let go of this illuminati nonsense. Gets on my nerves. But who knows, by me saying that, you're gonna start thinking that I'M in the Illuminati.

I was actually behind the secret codes on the dollar bill.



Have a blessed ass day <3

Marriage: You're doing it wrong.

I don't understand you government, so full of hatred. At this point I'm sure you know that it's bullshit that I still don't have the option of getting married. That's not saying that I actually want to get married, I just think it's bullshit that I can't (or any other LGBT citizen of this country) can't get married. Where are my rights? Obviously shoved up politician's (and voter's) asses. People don't pay enough attention to the constitution that they helped create, you can't take my rights away. People are too focused on a book of fairy tales to tell them what to do with their lives. Last time I checked, we aren't a theocracy. Nobody makes sense. Never have. Think back to when america was first colonized. Colonized by the english seeking religious freedom, and look what they up and do, the puritan era. Who gets rights in this new place? Everyone. Except for women, blacks, hispanics, asians, jews, gays, and native americans. Maybe I'm "forcing my opinion" right now, but I coudn't give two shits, its a blog, you're reading it. Yeah, I went there.

I only bring this up because during a meeting to add an amendment to the constitution basically making gay marriage completely illegal or whatever, and one of the guys said "how many gays does god need to create before people realize that he wants them around?" and he is now my hero.

No caption necessary



My personal opinion? I think that as long as gay marriage remains illegal, then divorce should be illegal too. If you engage in pre-marital sex you are to be arrested. Adulterers are to be put to death, death by STONING with big ROCKS.

Show me your "sanctity of marriage". It doesn't exist, does it? I hate it when people use the bible as an argument against gay marriage. If you're following the bible, you can't just pick and choose what you wanna listen to. How many people engage in premarital sex, 50% of marriages end in divorce. So what ever your argument, it's moot. I'm ranting, but please, I'd just like to have equal rights like everyone else.

Have a blessed ass day. <3

The shit. It's been scared out of me.

You get your jollies from leather? I get my jollies from horror, the macabre, gore. Does that make me sick? Probably. But that's not the point. As much as horribly things make me happy, they also, depending on the scenario, make me cringe, maybe even cause me physical stress. For example: "I Spit on your Grave". Great movie, but it's rather graphic. SPOILER ALERT. A woman moves into a cabin in the woods of bumfuck nowhere to write a novel. She's subsequently raped repeatidly by a group of local hillbillies who break into her cabin. She's to be left for dead, but escapes when the Sherrif, who was also raping her, prepares to murder her so that she doesn't go to the actual police. That's only like, half way through the movie. You guessed it. It's a RAPE REVENGE movie. I think that that should be it's own genre. She comes back a few months later and toys with them, just as they toyed with here. Eventually murdering each of them, mirroring what they did to her. IE: the sherrif sodomized her with his gun, so she bend him over a desk, tied him up, sodomized him with his own shotgun, and fired it, killing him.

I only bring it up for this reason: I was appauled by the rape, it was an awful scene. But I don't think the movie would be as good without it. That's how I feel about alot of very graphic things like that. But back to my shit, and it being scared out of me.

I've never really played the Silent Hill series, I've always been a Resident Evil kind of guy, but a few days ago I bought Silent Hill Homecoming (Silent Hill 6). I'd never really played any of the others before it, but I've watched them be played, and I've seen the movie (which isn't canon, but I still liked it), so I have a basic understanding of the series. I wasn't aware of how actually scary it was. I just about pissed myself many many times in the short time I've played it.

It's been a long time since a video game has scared me. I love it though. You can just call me "Vagina Dentata" from now on. If you play Silent Hill you might know what I'm talking about.

Alex Shepherd is quite the looker. He makes the scary worth it.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Come on down to Nasty Town everyone.

Welcome to Nasty Town.

Nasty town is the perfect vacation spot for you, if you love filth, rot, nasty, and everything in between.

You can see the volcano from any part of Nasty Town. It's filled with dismembered bodies and genital scraps.

We have our own currency too, doody dollars, sphincter cents, and scrotom stamps. Be sure to exchange your american currency.

We don't have toilets. What you call "Bowel Movements", we call "banquet feasts".

We're a "green" town, we don't drive cars. We have large inflateable titties that we ride around in. They run on silicone.

We get to bathe almost three times a year.

There are no laws in Nasty Town. It's perfectly legal to murder anyone in Nasty Town, just as long as you sodomize and/or eat the remains, and deposit anything you don't use in the volcano.

NASTY TOWN IS THE ONLY WAY
IN NASTY WE TRUST

Feels so good being bad

Have a blessed ass day <3

C'mon, baby.

Ugh! There's always gotta be something with me, right? I may have had a crush on you, but you can't just date someone who isn't a despicable? It's not my place to say who you can date, but c'mon, If you know that that person has explicitly hurt me, why would you become romantically involved with that person? Maybe that's high school of me, but still.

Okay, on to some more "self empowering" things. I tried to put up with it, but you can't get mad at me if I'm upset, because you know exactly why I was upset. But after saying that you're indifferent about whether we talk or not, was kinda bullshit. I'm not gonna try to sit here and beg you to come talk to me. So, DELETE. It may just be facebook, but honestly I really don't wanna waste my time talking to you if you couldn't care less. Dumber than fuck, if you ask me.

My blocked list on facebook is growing with rapidity. I just don't have the patients to deal with anyone anymore. If you're important to me, than I'd hope I'd be important to you. Cohesive post, I know. I'm just in a sour mood tonight, and I needed to pour this nonsense out. I wish I had something happier to say.

Fart jokes are classy. Wait, that's not what we were talking about?



Have a blessed ass day <3

Sorry, Alejandro, but I'm in love with Judas.

"When he comes to me, I am ready. Wash his feet with my hair if he needs. Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain, even after three times he betrays me. Bring him down, and king without a crown. I'm a holy fool, oh baby, he's so cruel, but I'm still in love with Judas, baby."

Gaga has done it again with her new single Judas, and I'm addicted. People say that her music is pop drivel, and she's brainwashing america and all that, honestly I'm glad to be brainwashed. She's fantastic, she's fierce, she's fabulous and she stands for something.

I'm not a music critic, but I think Popjustice had it right: "Judas is a highly evolved, titanium plated, bad romance from the year 2511 travelling half a millienium back in time to save pop from the obsessed 'in the club' drivel".

I love love love it. People are just gonna have to suck it up and accept the fact that Gaga is gonna be around for the long haul.

the demon I cling to

Cultural baptism.

Have a blessed ass day <3

My career as a dog-sitter

Psh, I think I could do that.

Friday my sister called me from our cousin's house (she practially lives there. She was there all spring break), and she wanted to know if I wanted to come over. I didn't think it was weird because my uncle is always telling me to come over an visit and all that. She then hands the phone to our aunt who said she wants me to come over for the weekend to watch their puppy while they go to the IX center for the weekend. I was kinda offended at first, but I decided that it would be fun.

They are so adamant in saying that Zeus (the puppy) is just a big ol' menace. And they even put "He is BAD" on the instructions they gave me. He's a puppy, puppies aren't "bad", they just have loads of energy that needs to be expended or they'll get frustrated.

I might as well have been looking after a goldfish, because he was so easy. People in my family have a tendency to exaggerate, I've noticed. But I got there, the family all left, I sat and watched tv while Zeus chewed a bone for literally 4 hours. After he chewed on that, I took him outside to potty, then we played catch, and then he took a nap. He woke up, I took him outside, we played and then he went to bed for the night. We did the same thing the next day, I made food for myself whenever he was sleep because I was instructed to keep an eye on him at all times. I don't think I really needed to though.

It may just be because I'm good with animals. I've always been better with animals than I've been with people. Hm, I dunno. I just don't know why, at this point, my dad won't let me have a pet. I stayed a weekend with a "troublesome dog" and kept him behaved, so what's stopping me from taking care of a pet of my own. This sounds moderately pathetic, because I'm 18 and I'm begging my dad for a pet, but it is his house after all. I just think I need a pet at this point, I need something to cuddle with.

An "almost Zeus clone"



But I had fun this weekend, Zeus is a little sweet heart. He nips sometimes, but that's just in his nature. But I think I caught something from my cousins, I feel super sick right now.

Have a blessed ass day <3

A 'gay'mer at heart.

Hey everyone. It's been a while, but I decided it was time to pick up my metaphorical pen again. So I'm sitting in my room, it's storming outside, and I decided that it was time to do a little gaming. I bought quite a few games for Xbox at christmas, and I've only beaten two of them (a few days after I got it). So, maybe I'm a nerd, but I need to sit down and play Bioshock 2.

I don't have much a story to go in here, but what about you gentlemen? Video games? What do you guys like to play? I like to play scary games. Games that make me poo myself. But that's just me.

I think I caught something from my cousin, not happy about that one. I'm tired.

This is what I look like under my clothes



I don't know, I think I'm gonna spend the remainder of my free time gaming until I can say all my games are completed. I feel like a slacker.

Have a blessed ass day. <3

My baby was kidnapped!

I'm slowly growing in depression, because I think that the cat in the first post I made, Leander, has been adopted. I wanted him to be my kitty. I loved him! I think it's fantastic that he got a new home...or at least I can hope he was adopted, and not euthanized. That would make me sad. But yeah, now that my dad is thinking about letting us get a cat, the cat that I want is no longer there. But I shall not fret for long, there are plenty of other babies that need good homes. Of course, they'll be like a Leander replacement, and I'll probably make him do all the house-work because he's not as perfect as leander, and after years of abuse he'll finally snap and murder me...wait, what?

When I get a cat, he won't be Leander, but he'll be just as good, and I'll love him just the same, no one else will love me anyway. -wink wink- hahahah.

I'm a crazy cat lady.



But at this point, I'm okay with it.

Have a blessed ass day <3

Stressed out. A diseased close circle.

Dear sweet jesus. I haven't blogged in a while, but jesus christ. So, you guys know about my sickly grandpa, so I've got that in the back of my mind at all times. Today I heard that my best friend was diagnosed with lupus. Shoot me now. For those of you who don't know what lupus is, it's an autoimmune disease in which your immune system is out of wack, causing it to mistake your own body for pathogens. It attacks your organs and tissues and things like that. Anywhere from your liver to your brain, they're all up for attack. It's debilitating. So I don't know, he's really scared, I'm really scared, his wife is really scared.

I don't know too much about lupus other than that. They say that it's hereditary, so that means my goddaugther is a candidate for lupus, she's already got enough health issues to deal with, and she's only 1. I don't know, it's all just blah.

I had to just get that out there.
Have a blessed ass day. <3

It's FRIDAY FRIDAY (on wednesday)

I've been successfully brainwashed. Have you ever heard the musical gem that is "Friday", by Rebecca Black? If you haven't, please listen here. It may be the most awful, ear-wrenching thing I've ever heard, but I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT! It never gets old, and I laugh my ass off every time I listen to it. The memes, oh the memes. Like this has made my life, but it's so FUCKING awful.

If you don't know where it came from, it's from a company known as "Ark Music Company" who writes songs for "talented" youth and directs music videos and all that for a fee, I would guess. I've listened to some of the other songs produced by Ark, and they all seem to have the same lyrical theme: school, tests, and mostly boys. There's alot of songs about liking boys. Another reoccuring theme within these songs is the use of AUTOTUNE. Now I don't think autotune is bad, when used sparingly of course. Even though Kesha is pretty much 100% autotune, I think she pulls it off. Some of these girls who've had songs produced by Ark haven't been completey talentless, but they've had help with autotune. FRIDAY is completely autotune and she still sounds like a FUCKING TRAINWRECK. You know you're an awful piece of shit singer when not even autotune can fix you.

The song sounds awful, it's ill-conceived, and there is no rhyming whatsoever. That is, unless, you count "bowl" and "cereal" as a rhyme. The video's gone viral, probably because it's so awful and hilarious. It was uploaded 6 days ago and already has nearly 10 million views. I don't know, if this viral-ness makes this bitch famous, I hope she comes out with a sophomore single that is just as good (bad) as FRIDAY. Maybe it could be an anthem, or ballad, and entitle it monday. [sarcasm]I sure hope to hear from this girl alot in the future.[/sarcasm]

Nothing more needs to be said.

This will consume my life until the next big thing comes out.

Have a blessed ass day. <3

To be a severe ass bitch.

If you asked me a few years back, I would say that drag queens scared the fuck out of me. It's funny how people can change in such a short time. A few years back drag queens were horrifying, but presently (and forever more) it's what I want to do with my life. I want to be a world famous queen. Some people wanna be singers, some people wanna be actors, I wanna paint my fucking face and trick you mother fuckers into thinking I'm a female. But I love drag and everything about it, the fashion, the artistic faces, the fierce-ness, all of it.

I'm bad though, I didn't know who RuPaul was before I decided I wanted to be a Queen. Have you guys ever heard of an internet gem known as "Sharolaid"? She was popular around 2007 within the youtube scene, but she was often banned from youtube for her videos being a bit racey. She did alot of prank calls and shit like that. You'd really have to see it to understand, unfortunately she refuses to come back to youtube to reprise her role. Makes me sad.

[actual picture] Back when youtube had class

So, when I become a severe ass bitch, you haters better watch yourself. You'll know I'm a beast, I'm a fucking savage.

"I have these lovely-ass dildos here, and I can shove them right up your ass, if you like."

Have a blessed ass day <3

I suppose it's time.

I'm kinda depressed. After being so excited about buying Pokemon Black, I'd never swung so low so fast before. Last night my dad told my that my grandfather (with whom I grew up with, obviously) has malignant cancer (just about everywhere), and the doctor gave him 3 months to live.

So obviously I've been down. He's a fighter. He's survived cancer before, and he's had 13 heart attacks. He's survived all that. I have faith, but I can see that he's just exhausted.

I don't know what I feel right now, but I can feel the upset welling up inside me.

He started treatment today though, I have no idea how it went or anything, I just hope he's alright. Unfortunately we all have to accept the realtiy that everyone dies.

I'm not gonna try to be funny this time, so no jokes or funny pictures. Just be aware that I'm not a complete wreck. I can't allow myself to be a complete wreck. He can't see any reason to fight this is everyone around him is moping like there's no hope. We have to be happy, and supportive or he won't get rid of this.

And sometimes my life is just too ironic. As I'm typing this blog, this commercial comes on the televison:
[Commercial] A commercial which made me cry. So yeah, just thought you guys should know what's going on with me.

Have a blessed ass day. <3

I was too afraid to talk to you like a normal person, so I'll post an ad on the internet.

Have any of you heard of Craigslist? Of course you have, and if you haven't...then there's something wrong with you. I've recently come across a section of craigslist that's hilariously entertaining. It's called the "missed connection" section, or as I affectionately refer to it as "losers-r-us". I was hanging out with my friend Leah yesterday at the local Marc's super market shopping for various snacks and such, and then we got the food and we went home. After hanging out for a little while, we decided that we were gonna go through the "missed connections" for a few laughs. Of course we through out the "it would be so funny if we found an ad on here about one of us.

Fuck my life.

Of course five seconds later we stumbled across an ad entitled "Today at Marc's". I think I may have died a little inside.
The ad said something to the tune of this:
"I'm confused. I think we shared a look, and a smile across the store. You were with a woman and a child, you were tall and wearing black. I was the black man stocking shelves. Could you be straight? I don't think so. I don't think this is in my head is it? If you or someone in your party finds this, send me an email".

That's not exactly what the post said, but it's what I remember. I just think it's ridiculous. Now, honestly, it could be only a coincidence. There are 40 marc's groceries in north-east ohio. But still, it's crazy, and it kinda horrified me a little. I don't remember smiling at anyone. People do say I flirt all the damn time though, so we'll never know.

Or "get molested for you money". I haven't decided.

I just think it's crazy, but people are saying "maybe he's your soul-mate". I think if he were my soul-mate he would've come up to me, but that's just me. I'm rambling.

Have a blessed ass day.

<3

Haters gonna hate

Haters gonna hate. That's just the way it is. But maybe it's not so smart of me that I don't understand how they could be so dense. Did that make sense? This really applies to anything and everything, but this time in particular I'm talking about Lady Gaga and youtube. This morning the music video for "Born This Way" was released, and it was so fantastic. I'm a huge Lady Gaga fan. But, unsurprisingly, people have got shit to say about it. That's something I do not understand. My motto is "Love me or hate me, I'm still getting air time." It really doesn't help your cause, especially on youtube. If you're gonna watch the video, it's gonna make the video more popular, just by watching your makng the views go up. So going to troll about it is something that I do not understand. Oh, and while I'm on the subject, Willow Smith, Greyson Chance, I'm fans of them both. But they're only 9 and 13 respectively. How is it okay to talk shit about CHILDREN? Question: How is Willow Smith a whore? She's NINE YEARS OLD. Greyson Chance gay? Who cares? You certainly shouldn't. I don't understand people. Logic would dictate that if you ignore something it'll go away, then why would you keep going to the videos. It seems counter productive if you ask me.
I know it seems a bit hypocritical with me bitching like this, but I think I needed to vent this morning.

Well said, Betty.



I just felt all that needed to be said. Sorry for the rant.

Have a blessed ass day.

<3

A rose by any other name is still my ex-boyfriend.

You know what I could never do? Date an ex. I mean, I only have one, and he's in prison for rape, and he's HIV positive, but even without all that nonsense I still wouldn't date him again. Sad enough to say that all that stuff is tru too, only in my life would I ever date someone who turns out to be horrible horrible HIV infested rapist. Did I mention the boy he raped was 12 years old? Yeah, only official boyfriend, I sure know how to pick 'em, eh?

That's my life.

But even if I did date more people, and have more exes, some of them having been wonderful people, I could never date any of them again. If it didn't work the first time, it's not gonna work now, right? I see my friends date these guys/girls and then they break up. A short time after they're back together, then they break up, and then get back together. It's just like, c'mon, you know it's gonna end up bad. I couldn't do it. I mean I'm having trouble even thinking about dating someone for a first time, let alone many times over. I don't know. Maybe it's because my ex is abolutely not appealing whatsoever, but I don't know.

My first kiss might as well have been with that.



Maybe I'm just not "hip to the now", but I can't see it's appeal. I don't know any better though.

Cool story, bro.

Night, babies <3

Lifetime movies [Reprise]

This'll be a short one. In my last blog I mention a horrible movie called Deadly Encounter. Spoiler Alert: It turns out that the guy stalked and kidnapped her sun and tried to murder them all because she cut him off at the begining of the movie. Biggest waste of life ever.

[last scene in the movie] She shoots his car and blows his ass up.

the only entertaining part of the movie.

"Why are you doing this?!"

"Because you cut me off!!!"

-Red headed bitch shoots his car and the creep explodes.-

Cool story, bro.

We now return to "Men are bad, and they will hurt you because this is Lifetime".

I spend alot of time at my grandparent's house. They spend alot of time watching lifetime movies. Alot of which are pretty awful. Family Guy really hit it spot on with that joke, "Men are bad, and they will hurt you because this is lifetime". Twenty minutes into this movie, and I already hate it. It's called Deadly Encounter. No idea what it's about, I don't really think I care to. This bitch starts falling asleep at the wheel on here way home from her late job and almost hits a car in a different lane. After pulling over to see if the other person is alright, the assailant in the car tries to run her down, she jumps in her car and tries to escape but he practically runs her off the road. I'm guessing he's some sort of stalker/murderer/rapist, because he keeps calling the house and breathing like a fucking creeper. This movie is dumb. Give me something fun to watch, like zombies, or people doing it. Porn is entertaining. More entertaining than this.

Not the only time I've watched an awful lifetime movie with my grandparents. However, I did watch a good one where this looney bitch tried to steal this woman's unborn baby. Based on a true story that happened just a hop, skip and a jump away from my town. She was ingenious though. She faked her own pregnancy, faked her own murder, framed the pregnant bitches' husband, got him thrown in jail, all so she could work under the radar to kidnap the pregnant woman so that she could steal her baby.

Now that I think about it though, Stealing babies is a very common plot in lifetime movies. Stealing babies and rape.

Come little children, come with me, safe and happy you will be.

Baby theft and rape. That should be Lifetime's slogan. "Lifetime: the baby theft and rape network".

I don't know if I really had any point here, but I felt it need to be said.

Cool story, bro.

Night, babies. <3

When in doubt, expect the worst.

I allow my mind to wander. I like to think of myself as a logical mind, but I just can't seem to keep my thoughts from venturing into "that place". "That place" being a place of cataclysm. I usually think and expect the worst out of situations. Example: I came home yesterday around 1 pm and my dad wasn't home. 8 o'clock rolls around, he's still not back. I went to sleep around 10:30 pm. I woke up this morning, he wasn't here. So, of course, I assume the worst. Was he arrested for a bar-fight? Did he get into a car accident? Was he murdered? I don't know. Of course none of the aformentioned scenarios happened. I asked him where he was in a text and he said "work", and he asked why and I said I was concerned because he was gone until I went to sleep, and wasn't there when I woke up. he told me that he came home at 11 pm last night and left at 7 this morning. I just worry about things even when I shouldn't.

A few nights ago I was staying with my grandparents and there was a sudden flash of red and blue lights through the bay windows. Police lights. My immediate thought was: "Goddamn it. I didn't do anything". Why was me getting in trouble the first thing that came up. Me and my sister went to the window and looked outside, a police officer got out of the car and began walking in our direction. Lucky for me he stopped at a car that had just pulled into the neighbors driveway. He gave her a ticket, or warning, or something, it wasn't clear, and then he drove off. I didn't really stop thinking about the officer. I took a shower and was terrified that the police were going to bust in and find something to arrest me for. I only bring up that fear because I've had police come to my house trying to get me in trouble for saying things over text messages, so I think I have a little bit of a reason to be concerned with that. I also have a fear of being killed (and now arrested) while in the bathroom. I think it's really embarassing and demeaning to be caught with my pants down like that.

I've never seen this movie.

I'm more irrational than I like to believe, but I don't think it's too bad.

But I think you'd be upset if your dad doesn't come home until after you sleep, and leaves before you wake up so you never know he's there. I think if you don't worry when things like that happen then there must be something wrong with you.

Cool story, bro.

Night, babies <3

I hate it when you're attractive.

Recently I finally realized that I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy, I don't have to bitch about relationships all the time, I'm fine being single. One thing, however, gets on my nerves quite a bit: I'm boy crazy. I see a boy that I think is attractive, and I just want to breathe him into me. Is that weird? I'm a virgin, and I'm really considering celibacy, and there's a long story behind that (perhaps I'll talk about it in a later blog.), and I don't really know if I wanna have sex any time soon. I just get so..."hot and bothered". I think "succubus" would be a good career. It also bothers me when I see someone who's really attractive, and he doesn't notice me. That gets on my nerves.

If you say my name backward, I explode.

I may be a creep, but I speak my mind. I don't know where I was going with this, but boys are delicious.

Cool story, bro.

Night, babies <3

"He knows who I am, he knows I'm smart, and he knows I have breasts."

Once upon a time, at Green High School, there were a group of children who became friends and signed up for the Latin language program. There were two individuals who especially stood out from the crowd. Their name's were Tyler and Erin. Pluto and Stella. Attached at the hip they were, whether writing notes in latin, or hanging out in the library. In a magical place filled with wonder and delight and over priced ice cream, we sat in the corner and recorded videos of us acting a fool, and sculpting vaginas out of vanilla ice cream. We even met a fox at the library, a cute fox, that never called me again. Video games until 3:00 am, cereal at all hours of the day, and chicken at midnight. The page turned, and the yoshis grew happier. Stella the Star, and Pluto the planetoid. We were cosmic.

And we're more photogenic than you

Love love love.

You can find Erin's blog here.

Cool story, bro.

Night, babies <3

I simply remember my (least) favorite things.

I sometimes have a short fuse. There are quite a few things that piss me off. I only bring it up because I spent a majority of this evening pissed off. Some things that upset me really are stupid, and I really shouldn't be upset by them, but I am. It pisses me off when I send someone a message/comment/post etc on facebook (or something) and they delete it. That's like a slap in the face. It really pisses me off when I'm walking and something falls down (whether I knocked it down or not), behind me. It really pisses me off when people are ignorant as FUCK. It pisses me off when someone tells me "you need help". Bitch, no, you don't know me. One of my favorite songs King of Anything by Sara Bareilles says it best. "I hate to break it to you babe, but I'm not drowning. There's no one here to save." And it's true, get the fuck out my face. It pisses me off when someone twists my words, or takes them out of context. [sarcasm]"It'll be cool if I can go to a therapist so that they can find something wrong with me so they can get me disability so I won't have to work."[/sarcasm].
-days later-
"Grandma told me that you said that you're afraid of everything and need to go to a therapist because you need help."
FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUU----

Honestly, like, back the fuck up. I don't normal freak like this, but still, it needs to be said.
BLAHH!
It pisses me off that I don't have the option to get married here in america. I hate shaving, but I hate having facial hair.

FFFFFFUUUUU--

I felt like I needed to blow off some steam. I'm good now, I really am. At least you guys know now what buttons not to push. -wink-

Cool story, bro.

Night, babies. <3

A day in the life of a sedentary organism.

Let me start off by saying THANK YOU to my friend Allen who made the fabulous banner across the top of my page. He has a blog too, you can find him here. I think the banner is fabulous, if I do say so myself.

I stayed in bed most of today. After waking up from nightmares, I stayed under the covers all morning. I ate some chocolate, and drank some bottled water. It was a rather uneventful day as a whole. Around 3 my sister came home from school and we hung out for a little bit. We played wii and all that fun stuff.

It's not like I'm wasting my time or anything.

Tonight at dinner, my dad had a bag of baked lays potato chips that me and my sister were supposed to share, and she snatched the bag from me. "They're my favorite!" Hm..favorite eh? So I snatched her soda and shotgunned it. She flipped and I was like "It's my favorite!".

My famliy is a heard of snorlaxes.

My family's kinda selfish. I wonder wear I get it from.
I didn't really have a particular concept for this entry, just a little about my day today. Love you guys.

Cool story, bro.
Night, babies <3

A series of unfortunate nightmares.

I have the tendency to be plagued with nightmares. Sometimes they're vivid, sometimes they aren't. I can tell you this much, I wish I didn't have them. Last night I had a dream that I was shot dead. I don't remember everything that happened, but I was with someone, and it wasn't like we were unarmed, we had guns as well. My friend was shot and killed through the door he was about to open. I ran as the door was opening, I guess as an attempt to gain the upper hand on this assailant. He let out a battle cry, which sounded almost inhuman, and followed me. I shot him repeatidly from a distance, but it didn't seem to have any effect. I mean, it pierced him, but this fucker was like Michael Meyers. He got closer to me and shot me repeatedly, a few of the bullets blinding me. I fell backward over a railing and landed in the grass below. I tried to get up and he said "stay down", and that's where he shot me in the back of the head. Then I woke up.

Do you feel lucky...punk?

After I woke up, I fell back asleep and had a dream of far less nonsense. And by "nonsense", I mean horror, because there is plenty of nonsense in this dream. I don't remember the sequence of events (I usually never do), but I know at one point I was looking though a refridgerator that was in the middle of a field for butter to butter my bagel, but I couldn't find any. That always frustrates me. At one point my friend's try to convince me to go to a brothel, wasn't so good on that one. And the last thing I remember from my dreams was cramming into my great-grandparents car with them and like, four other people to go fight evil ghosts or something. I don't remember the point when I woke up, but it was ridiculous none-the-less.

I'm in your room, givin' you nightmares.

I admit, that not all my dreams are absolutely horrible/nonsensical. But I think I'd prefer it if they were nightmares, or outrageous. When you dream of something excellent, you wake up and become sad because you realize that what transpired in your dream didn't actually happen. When you have a nightmare, you wake up and become elated because you realize that what transpired in your dreams didn't actually happen.

Cool story, bro.

Night, babies <3

Charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Some people have plenty of things to live for, I, however, am not one of those people. I live for one thing, RuPaul's Drag Race. Last month Drag Race started up once again for season 3, and I've never been happier. I live for (other) people's drama, and I live for lady-boys. I live for bitchiness, and all that fantastic stuff. Make-up and fashion and power, it's all great. And it's funny too. A nearly naked drag queen farting, how isn't that funny? Drag Race for me is like what american idol is for everyone else.

Serving feminine realness since 1832

I guess that's just another something that you didn't know about me (or did know, who's counting?) I love drag queens. I'm super excited about this season of Drag Race, 5 episodes in, 4 queens down, 9 to go, 1 queen to rule them all. I think drag queens should be more in mainstream, they deserve it.



Well, not all of them.

"If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?"

Cool story, bro.

Night, babies <3